Dear Xbox 360, what the fuck are you?

When I was younger I was introduced to a nice Mr Amiga. It was my first console friend and it made amusing beeps with simple lights. We may not have been close but we had some good times. After moving home I found a new friend. NES was really good fun as we shot ducks and made plumbers jump around this strange world. Throughout the years I made new friends with my longest friendship being my Dreamcast.

Dreamcast wasn’t popular with the other kids but I liked it. It had lots of fun arcadey games that were perfect for me, especially as I was predominately a PC gamer. All was well with my friend the Dreamcast for a long time. However the Dreamcast got old and senile. Ten years later it could barely function any more and it was time for a change of console buddy. Having heard that the Xbox 360 has some sort of fungal infection that caused it to fail, I became buddies with the PlayStation 3.

We had many a good time. Not only did the Playstation 3 offer better graphics than my PC but it was a good media hub as well, allowing me to watch DVDs, blu-rays and even the many video files on my USB drives. It was a great central figure in my home entertainment setup with a variety of games to play when I had friends over or just fancied gaming when slumped on the sofa (I was still mainly a PC gamer mind). All was well with my friend PS3 and I thought we’d be bestest console gaming buddies for a long time.

Then out of nowhere I got a 360 for free. I found the achievements were better than trophies, the community / social aspects were slightly stronger plus more importantly, I preferred the 360 controller so my first choice console changed. I know, I betrayed my buddy PS3. A short while later I started trying indie & arcade games from the Xbox Live Marketplace and I was in love with the console. It had the major releases along with some fun and exciting indie titles. Perfect. My PS3 was then only used for games that I already had on it plus blu-rays. It even had LoveFilm support, although I still preferred DVDs. All was well.

But then something happened. Xbox began to change. It changed its appearance and suddenly gaming didn’t seem that important. Every time I booted it up all it seemed to care about was telling me about the latest films. Even when it mentioned games, it was never games I liked and already had. All those fun sessions we had seemed forgotten with my indie games buried away. It then found new ways of wanting to watch films with me and really wanted to share that fact with me. Thats great I said, but what new indie games are there? It gave a half arsed response before saying FIFA 13 IS COMING OUT!!! AND A NEW CALL OF DUTY!!!! I already knew that though. My TV and the internet tells me all the time about those games. We still have lots of good gaming sessions together and I do appreciate access to streaming (that you pay for separately). However I look back and think about when we were all younger you could just stick in a game disc and you’re away. Now its like a treasure hunt for your favourite xbox arcade game (okay slight exaggeration). Something has got lost here in the lust to show off what is available and to sell more products.

Its a shame really. I really liked the Xbox but it is starting to annoy me now. I give it money from time to time and even helped it through a nasty sickness (ie replaced it after RROD) yet it won’t shut up about all the things I should be buying for it. Let me enjoy and embrace what I have. I pay good money to try these arcade and indie games as well as to subscribe to Live yet the console deems them less important than shoving adverts in my face. Sorry but Mr Xbox 360, that makes you a bit of a dick.

I hear my old friend PS3 is nice to you if you give it a bit of cash every so often. With Playstation Plus I could be getting free games among other benefits as opposed to loads of fucking adverts. Perhaps it is time I become buddies with my PS3 again!

As a final note, I hear Xbox has a brother, Windows 8, that wants me to get in touch. When I look at the two together I can’t help but see a family resemblance. Given that I feel the new metro look, overloaded approach of the Xbox makes it a dick, well Windows 8 seems like it will be much the same. If he ever tries getting friendly, well he can stay the fuck away. Even if I wanted to give it a go, my bestest gaming buddy Steam has a real beef with the Microsoft family right now and Steam… you’re awesome.

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